literature

In The Sky

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1337pre's avatar
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Literature Text

Up in the sky, I see.
Every day, something new.
Every minute, it changes.
But always something amazing.
And always something beautiful.
The stars, bright in the night sky.
The clouds against the soft blue.
A vibrant rainbow, a burning sunset.
I want to go there.
I want to fly high.
I want to be with you, because you take me there.
I see the stars, bright in your eyes.
Fluffy clouds against your soft skin.
Your hair, a rainbow over your beautiful face.
And best of all, your smile, the most incredible sunset.
Up in the sky, I see.
But with you,
Up in the sky, I am.
my second poem...
© 2004 - 2024 1337pre
Comments23
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blueseas's avatar
Very nice imagery.

"I want to be with you, because you take me there."

I would change this line to this : "I want to be with you; you take me there.

I think the word "because" is a little superfluous. It's also not a very nice word to sound.

Of course, this is all relative anyway. (my opinion, really)